nqmatthew5的部落格

Managing anyone beside your self can be challenging. First you have to be sure you are going into it for the right reasons. Don't do it to feel important, you're bound to be tripped up and shown how insignificant you really are in the general scheme of things. Don't do it to have control, nobody will let you control them if they have a choice, even if that choice is to quit. Do it because you want to serve. That's a great beginning.

Now, what character traits will you need$%: Selflessness, generosity of spirit, patience, kindness, interest in others, the ability to prioritize, discernment and the ability to get out of your box when dealing with others. That means you can look at them as they really are, not as you react to them. You have to be able to look at an employee and accept them as they are at that moment in time. Then you have to decide if they can do the job. You have to be able to separate the characteristics of their personality traits from their ability to do the job. If you like them and they are able to perform well, that's a great situation for you. If you don't like some of their personality quirks, but they can do the job, you have to honestly decide whether their personality is detrimental to the team, practice and patients or just something that bugs you.

If it just bugs you, find a way to deal with it. Now, if you like them, but they just can't do the job, you have to have the guts and ego to admit it. Guts because it's hard to dismiss someone you like. Ego because it's hard to admit you can't make it work. Trying to force someone to develop abilities they don't have or don't want to possess hurts and stresses everyone. In the long run you can diminish the employee's self-esteem even though you thought you were trying to improve them. Accept them as they are even if that means accepting that they have to go. When you try to change someone who can't change you may start to resent them and find yourself developing a dislike of them and letting them feel that. That can make them feel belittled and ruin their confidence. It makes you a poor manager. The friend who inspired this post is a believer in the Serenity Prayer:

Give me the courage to change the things I can,

The serenity to accept the things I can't,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I'm not saying you can't help team members develop stronger or new skills, I'm saying that you can't force them to develop anything. Use your wisdom and realize and accept it when you can't. When you think someone isn't doing something the way you think they should, or the way you would, get out of your box. Really look at what they are doing and honestly evaluate it. If the job is getting done, it's OK if they do it differently than you would. If it's not, make a correction and be done with it. Then move on. The pursuit of excellence is good, but not if it leads to judging others. You can't force anyone else to pursue excellence, nor can you define it for them. You can only do that as it applies to your behavior and performance. It would be irrational to believe otherwise. Learn to exist together and just live.